i jus hav to get it out of my system... i dunno y i am so affected... but i am. fine, i xing shang sun yan zi....i admit i may sometimes get too excited n force ppl to see stuff.... i may jus get too 'obsessed'. i'm sorry... n yes... ppl say stuff, but i know they are joking, they may or may not mean it, its okay, i know it a one-sided thing. i willingly or thick-skinly insist tat ppl see or know some stuff. its jus tat i hav to hav some place to release the 'energy'. its okay to say stuff, eg. 'she too think, she no good' its all ppl's own perspective, i respect tat. but please, jus dun bloody tell me tat ' she dun even know you, y u like her so much'.i have heard this comment countless times, i am sick of hearing it. do i even care if she knows me or not. isit my objective? isit y the reason i say or do actions tat seem illogical to some? NO!! F**KING NO! its a very sincere n simple admiration, dun make it sound so cheap. i jus veh bs tat ppl think of it tat way. sometimes, ppl like me dun need anything ' material' in return. i jus want to in return get good music, good memories. dun dirty it.... OVER N OUT
5:56 AM
Monday, July 24, 2006
it has been a long time since i blogged...(yes i am slacking, shoot me...) i have never appreciated how blogging had helped me get rid of the bad feelings. i mean... without excersice these days and constant worrying about exams, one would implode under the pressure. believe it or not.. even the most slack ppl can be worrying abt the Os.... today, this guy frm NTU came to tell us stuff abt future career prospects.... all his talking made the whole thing sound so easy, as if going into teriery education is such an easy feat for dunman high ppl. are dhs ppl tat clever? adding on to the pressure of studying to get a job, is the need to do well for the skool. for eg failing my standing broad jump.... to me, its like wad he hell am i doing lah....jump n jump.. fail then fail lah! but to mr ang... failing my NAFA concerns the skool's ranking n stuff.... to eveything we do, there would always be a social stigma, a responsibility as a human.... well, it sucks. unless you have achieved great things, such as earn a billion or smthing, you would always be the small fry, the one that has to go with the rules, teh bottom of the food chain. you dun have the freedom to say" i dun wanna study anymore!!" it is childish to think tat we have any freedom in a democratic world. we oni have the freedom to think, but we do not have the freedom to do.... this is the reason that i came up on 'why i am studying'....lol. you are doing what others want you to, nt wat u wanna do....LIFE SUCKS!! whoooo..... done complaining!! if i keep on ranting abt i dun wanna study for others n freedom n stuff, it would be lies. i wanna study, n i am really doing it for myself. it is no harm trying to escape the brutal fact by trying to block and deny its existance. if i dun study, i die. life is a very lonely journey.... so is studying. ppl can tell u wat to do, but it is still up to you to decide. many ppl dun wanna admit tat they are really studying for ourselves. we jus keep coming up with excuses to slack, one of the most common one is tat we do not want to study in the first place or tat me not having any knowledge abt the world is not anybody else's problem. its okay to be dellutional once in a while, but i dun wanna be a small fry anymore!! the oni way to get to the top is to study!! see!! its for yourself!! i want to be a TIGER!! ROAR!! JIA YOU N PIA FOR Os!!!!! OVER N OUT
